What I’ve Learned

I’m in the mood for a positive post today.

Over the past couple years, I have reflected so much that I think I reflect in my sleep. I over-analyze EVERYTHING and I feel like I’m a hypersensitive person and overly aware of other people’s emotions and intentions. It drives me crazy sometimes (and my friends…) but I have to say that some of the reflection has really given me a new perspective on life.

I don’t necessarily believe that “everything happens for a reason” but I do believe that everything that happens can teach you something. My eating disorder is a pain in the ass… I’m not going to deny that. It has taken away a lot from me and changed me. But there are plenty of good things that came from it too. This post is about why i’m thankful for my eating disorder and what I’ve learned/how I’ve changed for the better from it. I don’t think this is something that people talk about often…. because let’s be honest, they are horrible. The thing is, I recognize that I have taken away good things from it and i’d love to share those with you.

1. I feel more compassionate for others. I used to make a lot of assumptions about people. I didn’t realize how judgmental I was about so many things, but I didn’t have the perspective to act otherwise. For example, I do think I judged people who are obese. I didn’t realize that obesity can be an actual disease and not necessarily a choice someone makes. After my eating disorder, I know how it feels to be judged and misunderstood, and I honestly think that I am a lot more understanding, sympathetic, and caring because of it. Sometimes I may be too compassionate to be honest – but I am really thankful I have gained this perspective.

2. I truly appreciate health. I didn’t have any real health issues before my eating disorder. When I was underweight, my hair thinned, my energy decreased, I had no emotions, my bloodwork was off, I was constantly cold, and I looked kind of sickly. Even though i’m not thrilled with how I look now, I know that I am healthy and I feel so lucky to be healthy. I am starting to realize that food is a wonderful thing- it makes you glow, it keeps you warm, it helps you grow, and it just does wonders for your body when you eat nutritiously.

3. I am knowledgeable about food and exercise. Sometimes all the knowledge I have gained about food and exercise drives me crazy, but I have to say that I am glad I am educated on these things because they are really important long-term. I have learned that nutrition and exercise are important, but aren’t meant to be abused. Finding that balance is hard, but my knowledge is going to help me reach that point. When I’m eating regularly (not starving or bingeing) I now truly crave healthy foods and that feels amazing.

4. I know when to ask for help. I used to be really against asking for help, but now that I realize how helpful therapy can be, I feel a lot more willing to reach out when I know things aren’t going right. I think so many people are too stubborn to seek out help, but it can make such a difference.

5. I have learned to take care of myself. Although this has taken a while and I am not 100% there yet, I’ve learned that sometimes you just have to put yourself first. I have always been so worried about what others think but living my life like that just isn’t fun. I realize that i’m my own person so I may have different needs from my friends… and that’s okay. I have started to try to listen to my self and my body and do things that I want to do. That may mean going out with my friends to drink and staying up til 4 am or it may mean staying in even when everyone else is going out.

So there ya have it The things i’ve gained from my eating disorder.. and i’m sure there are more that i’m forgetting!